Where's The Map?

I really struggled this morning to stay focused when reading the next few chapters in Corinthians. I started where I left off yesterday with 1 Corinthians 16 and then went on to 2 Corinthians 1-3...But something about it wasn't right. I wasn't seeing the same things that I have been seeing in each chapter like I have been recently. So it got me thinking, what is distracting me. Well, that could be a number of things, It could be the deep longing that I have to know what God has planned for me this year, it could be that I am not working with kids as much as I want to be. (Although the kids and babies that come through the office for adjustments or with their moms really make my day.) It could be the ridiculousness that is this online class that I forget about and then remember that I don't have a diploma yet, just an empty diploma case. Or it could simply be that I want to be a wife more than I want to be patient and wait for God to blow my mind with all of those things. This is a problem. The minute that I desire anything more than I desire my Savior it becomes an idol...and there's my answer. I'm not getting what I want because it is what I want, not what He wants for me.  (It is always interesting how if you jump around in your own mind for a while the Lord will lead you to the answer…) However, since I am stubborn this puts me and God in a weird place, do I ask Him to abort His plans so I can take a little short cut on my treasure map and get lost and then through pain and suffering crawl back to Him admit I was wrong and start over? No, that would be ridiculous, therefore, I wait. The most impatient person I know has to wait. (that would be me) As much as I hate waiting, I think back to how long I have waited so far. I haven't dated anyone in 2.5 years. I know some people have waited a lot longer but... Patience is a constant battle for me, God says, "Be patient" and I say, "I don't have time."

I know I need to be patient but i just like to see things happen, I'm the kind of person that if I know a surprise is coming I feel like it is then a secret and I want to know what it is. However, if I don't know anything about it I love surprises. But the whole "you'll see" thing...never goes well for me. I love surprising others but I do not like secrets... I think God enjoys that because with Him they aren't secrets they are about Trust. How much do I trust Him?

How can I NOT trust Him?! He has given me things in His perfect timing, and shown me which direction to go in order to fit His plans, why would I turn around now? I see it as, I have waited this long, surely He has something happening soon. If not well, I'm this much closer then, and that will just have to be okay, otherwise, well what am I really going to do about it...I mean He is God... I am a little "who" thinking it is all about me.

It isn't.

If it doesn't glorify the Creator I don't want to be a part of it.

The End.



Actually I have more to say. If we aren't following God's perfect plan we are outside His will and that is a dangerous area to be. We have to follow that map to a T. I read a book once that said if you are even one degree turned away from God and you keep walking eventually you will be miles away from what He desires. Every decision we ever make counts! Some people say it is too much to pray about every decision, but wouldn't that make sense? I was thinking yesterday as I walked into the mall, "What if i had gone a different direction? What if i had been here two minutes earlier or later? What would the difference be in the long run? I would see different people, have different conversations, pass different cars on the way back. What are the ramifications of every decision I subconsciously make? I remember a story on a TAAS test i took in fourth grade, It was about people that went back it time and everyone kept saying if you touch anything the whole course of history will change, one guy accidentally stepped on a butterfly and when they got back to the present day all writing was backwards and upside down. They were all confused until they saw the butterfly on the bottom of his shoe. Is that really possible? (no not to go back in time) but that does make sense (in my head anyway) that everything we do has purpose and "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" Kind of cool to think about!

I know this has been a ramble blog, I told you today was a weird day and that you don't have to read these ever, you are welcome to but please don't ever feel obligated. This blog may be a way to just organize my thoughts and while it makes perfect sense to me, im sure you guys are going to leave utterly confused. SO I will leave you with a Laugh!

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any gwapes?"
The bartender says, "no, i dont have any grapes..."
The duck says " okay" and walks out the door.
The next day the duck walks back into the bar, and says "got any gwapes?"
The bartender says "no, i dont have any grapes.."

The duck says " okay" and walks out the door. 

The next day the duck walks back into the bar, and says "got any gwapes?"

The bartender says "NO I DONT HAVE ANY GRAPES! IF YOU ASK ME AGAIN IM GOING TO NAIL YOUR FEET TO THE FLOOR!!"

"oh" the duck says and walks out the door.

The next day the duck walks into the bar and looks at the annoyed bartender and says "got any nails?"

The bartender says "um..no"

The duck says "GOT ANY GWAPES?!"

Im off to read "Undressed" for a while and then to do homework and clean house. Hope those of you who did read my little blog enjoyed!