why?
I didn't get it.
The practicum that I have been waiting for. The one thing that could have gotten me out of where i am and onto what i want to do with my life, gone. All i have ever wanted to do is be with kids, love kids, make their lives something it isn't. I want to show them Jesus in a time when their lives seem to be falling apart. My entire college career dedicated to a major that makes everyone think you want to teach. Having to constantly explain what a Child Life Specialist is. It all feels wasted now. I had almost given up on Child life and was going to settle for patient activity. so i sent out 15 cover letters and resumes to hospitals all over the country, didnt hear a word back so i decided to go back to the dream. Now, that dream is crushed. Any hope I had of doing child life is now put on hold once again. maybe my reaction to reading the letter was a little extreme but boy did it feel good to stick it in my grill and burn it. It still doesnt answer my question God, what do i need to do to prove to You that this is all I want to do? I want to love the children that society has given up on. I want to hold the children whose parents have given up the hope of survival. The children who live daily in a hospital bed receiving treatment while their parents are no where to be found. I want to love these sweet little children who's parents have decided that since their prognosis is grim they are giving up. I would never let these sweet children give up on themselves. I dont understand what it will take for me to get to do this. I have put all my energy into loving kids and apparently it is still not time. I just dont know where to go from here. So as i sit here and read through tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart I just think....thats it...i just think....one word.....
W.H.Y.
The practicum that I have been waiting for. The one thing that could have gotten me out of where i am and onto what i want to do with my life, gone. All i have ever wanted to do is be with kids, love kids, make their lives something it isn't. I want to show them Jesus in a time when their lives seem to be falling apart. My entire college career dedicated to a major that makes everyone think you want to teach. Having to constantly explain what a Child Life Specialist is. It all feels wasted now. I had almost given up on Child life and was going to settle for patient activity. so i sent out 15 cover letters and resumes to hospitals all over the country, didnt hear a word back so i decided to go back to the dream. Now, that dream is crushed. Any hope I had of doing child life is now put on hold once again. maybe my reaction to reading the letter was a little extreme but boy did it feel good to stick it in my grill and burn it. It still doesnt answer my question God, what do i need to do to prove to You that this is all I want to do? I want to love the children that society has given up on. I want to hold the children whose parents have given up the hope of survival. The children who live daily in a hospital bed receiving treatment while their parents are no where to be found. I want to love these sweet little children who's parents have decided that since their prognosis is grim they are giving up. I would never let these sweet children give up on themselves. I dont understand what it will take for me to get to do this. I have put all my energy into loving kids and apparently it is still not time. I just dont know where to go from here. So as i sit here and read through tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart I just think....thats it...i just think....one word.....
W.H.Y.
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