For Ashlee.
My sister called me three times at 1am on sunday, i really was kind of frustrated with her because i thought she was trying to get back at me for calling her at what would have been her 1am on saturday, but when my dad called at 8am sunday morning i knew something was wrong.
"Ashlee Mock was killed in a car accident last night" he may have said more but that is all i heard, there was no more information at that point. My friend, who i had just begun to rekindle friendship with after almost 10 years, my friend who i had just had dinner with, my friend who sent silly snapchats all day long about how she didnt want to be at work, or how it was too early to be dealing with difficult people, my friend had died. I really dont even remember what i said to my dad, i remember him praying for her family, and i remember crying, and i havent really stopped crying. I just keep thinking of things that i was going to tell her about the next time we hung out or the next time i text her. things that seemed insignificant but now i long to tell her about.
1. I didnt tell her about my marathon.
2. I didnt tell her about the guy i like.
3. I didnt tell her about college.
4. I didnt catch her up on my sister, we talked about her sister at dinner and how we wished she could have been there so we could all be together.
5. I didnt tell her about thanksgiving, I was supposed to spend thanksgiving with them if i wasnt able to go home.
6. I didnt tell her that i love her and i cherish her friendship
7. We didnt really talk about how awkward we were in middle school, but i keep thinking back to sleepovers and Ash wearing her retainers and Rache and I not being able to understand her and us laying in her floor while she tries to communicate with those ridiculous retainers that she refused to go a night without wearing.
8. I didnt tell her and her mom how much i always appreciated their family, Ashlee and Rachel were my best friends back then, i spent all my time at their house.
I was at their house when Ash got her first car, that silver Volkswagen that she was SO excited about. And Rachel and i were excited because it meant we now had a chauffer. The three of us were boy crazy back then and i remember late nights driving around Pensacola because Ashlee saw some cute guys that she knew so we chased them.
Things that seemed so insignificant and ridiculous to bring up are the things that i just cant stop thinking about.
Her bright smile will never be forgotten. And things as simple as hearing her voice are things i miss the most. And i hadnt interacted with her in almost 10 years before i moved back. But Ashlee is the kind of person who when youre friends youre friends for life, and when you leave you pick right back up where you left off. We were working on that, I just hate that it was cut short so quickly.
I hate this. I hate crying, and i hate feeling sorry for myself. I keep hoping that this is a really bad dream and i will wake up any minute. Trying desperately to wake up, but i can't. It has me fearful that this isnt a dream. And my friend really is gone.
This News Report means not only that it is actually our Ashlee but that this is real. I desperately wish that it wasn't and that it was all a big misunderstanding and that there is another Ashlee Mock living in Alabama and ours is safe and in Jacksonville with her family. I so wish that that were the case. In the last picture that she instagramed before moving she #worstdayever... that was on Friday. Friday night she was killed. I think "worst day ever" is the most accurate a hashtag has ever been.
-L
"Ashlee Mock was killed in a car accident last night" he may have said more but that is all i heard, there was no more information at that point. My friend, who i had just begun to rekindle friendship with after almost 10 years, my friend who i had just had dinner with, my friend who sent silly snapchats all day long about how she didnt want to be at work, or how it was too early to be dealing with difficult people, my friend had died. I really dont even remember what i said to my dad, i remember him praying for her family, and i remember crying, and i havent really stopped crying. I just keep thinking of things that i was going to tell her about the next time we hung out or the next time i text her. things that seemed insignificant but now i long to tell her about.
1. I didnt tell her about my marathon.2. I didnt tell her about the guy i like.
3. I didnt tell her about college.
4. I didnt catch her up on my sister, we talked about her sister at dinner and how we wished she could have been there so we could all be together.
5. I didnt tell her about thanksgiving, I was supposed to spend thanksgiving with them if i wasnt able to go home.
6. I didnt tell her that i love her and i cherish her friendship
7. We didnt really talk about how awkward we were in middle school, but i keep thinking back to sleepovers and Ash wearing her retainers and Rache and I not being able to understand her and us laying in her floor while she tries to communicate with those ridiculous retainers that she refused to go a night without wearing.
8. I didnt tell her and her mom how much i always appreciated their family, Ashlee and Rachel were my best friends back then, i spent all my time at their house.
I was at their house when Ash got her first car, that silver Volkswagen that she was SO excited about. And Rachel and i were excited because it meant we now had a chauffer. The three of us were boy crazy back then and i remember late nights driving around Pensacola because Ashlee saw some cute guys that she knew so we chased them.
Things that seemed so insignificant and ridiculous to bring up are the things that i just cant stop thinking about.
Her bright smile will never be forgotten. And things as simple as hearing her voice are things i miss the most. And i hadnt interacted with her in almost 10 years before i moved back. But Ashlee is the kind of person who when youre friends youre friends for life, and when you leave you pick right back up where you left off. We were working on that, I just hate that it was cut short so quickly.
I hate this. I hate crying, and i hate feeling sorry for myself. I keep hoping that this is a really bad dream and i will wake up any minute. Trying desperately to wake up, but i can't. It has me fearful that this isnt a dream. And my friend really is gone.
This News Report means not only that it is actually our Ashlee but that this is real. I desperately wish that it wasn't and that it was all a big misunderstanding and that there is another Ashlee Mock living in Alabama and ours is safe and in Jacksonville with her family. I so wish that that were the case. In the last picture that she instagramed before moving she #worstdayever... that was on Friday. Friday night she was killed. I think "worst day ever" is the most accurate a hashtag has ever been.
I will miss you dearly my sweet friend, your smile, your voice, and your infectious laughter will never be forgotten. Have fun hanging out with Jesus, we will see you soon. We love you Ash.
-L
A beautiful tribute from a beautiful young lady. . . I love you. . .
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