Sunsets, Running, and Rap Music

       So i have been irritated today, more than usual, about people being fake. More specifically what i will refer to as "part-time friends". I have a few friends that lately i feel like are "friends" with me out of obligation or necessity rather than by choice. --- Dont worry, this isnt going to be "THAT" kind of post. Spent a little time reading "LOVE DOES" before i decided i needed to blog and listen to whatever it is God is going to reveal to me through this post. In case youre wondering that is the REASON i blog, I find that God uses my words and questions that i type out as my own thoughts in order to bring clarity to every situation. --- Anyway,  I just have days where i feel like, "yay friends are everywhere yay" and then there are days where i feel like each and every text i send is the most obnoxious thing ever. And it is not necessarily by fault of the recipient, they may be at the lake or just really busy that day or w...

Honestly I don't know where to begin. So much has been going on in my life, I have been diligently applying for internships and got them all sent out before our family vacation which was a great plan because our vacation started on the deadline date.  We went to Pensacola (our old home) and we had an incredible time just relaxing and of course taking lots of beach pics.  I cherish our family vacations because with Brittney being a travel nurse now our time as a full family is rare.  I always look forward to spending time with her She is my absolute favorite person in the world. Family time is my favorite.  We had perfect weather the whole week. It didn't rain until the day we left. As we were pulling out of the parking lot.  God gave us 5 beautiful days of sunshine and perfect temperatures on an almost deserted beach. We couldn't have asked for a better week.  I got up every morning partially because I was coughing like crazy all week but also to make the j...

Almost. Close. SO CLOSE. Not Quite. These words are very fresh on my mind today. I almost had a date this morning with an awesome guy who cancelled at the last minute. I know that if he's not feeling me it isn't in God's plan. and I accept that. But the funny part is that i know why God didnt allow him to be interested in me at this point. Because that is exactly what i have been doing to God. Neglecting our relationship, saying "yeah i am going to catch up on my one year bible reading plan" and then once again finding other things to occupy my mind, my time, and my thoughts; Whether it be my jobs, applying for internships, or a guy there is always something. I know it is terrible, im not even at a point where im dying to be in a relationship, i have just gotten so comfortable that any little thing became a distraction because i allowed it to be one. So now as i sit here at Rhino once again and watch the leaves blowing in the wind i am reminded that even in the ...

"Trust" trust    /trəst/ Noun Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Verb Believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of. Synonyms noun .   confidence - faith - credit - reliance - belief verb .   believe - confide - rely - credit - hope - entrust That sounds like such an easy thing to do.. "just trust God" I am beginning to learn that i do not trust God the way i should. I put my hope in people, friendships, the hope of relationships and they all constantly fail me.  Proverbs 11:22 "A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pigs snout" Something that is meant to be beautiful is made ugly by missed purpose. If i dont trust God, the creator of everything that is and has ever been, why do i think that i can put my trust in friends who have proven imperfect for years. Why do i put my hope in sinners who are as bad off a...

well it has been a month for those of you who view my blog on a consistent basis. As i sit in what i refer to as my part-time home Rhino Coffee, i feel an overwhelming peace that can only be given by the grace of God. Coming here and being surrounded by their staff who jut happen to be a lot of believers can make an incredibly awful time seem nice. I started coming here when I was meeting with a friend once a week for coffee and catch up time. but rhino was just a weekly thing. Then i decided to take praxis 2. I pretty much moved into this quaint little business and spent more money than i really should have but every coffee was worth it. So i played studious and when the day came to actually take the praxis i felt less than prepared. With family and friends diligently praying i showed up to the testing center an hour and a half early thinking i would have time to sit and pray and just get my thoughts together before they actually sent me in to take the exam..well its a small center an...

           Okay God, You call me to trust you in every situation. I have now been denied entry to 3 internships. 3 of the 4 i applied for and at this point if i were going to have an interview i would know by now. This is exactly what i was expecting to happen but a part of me was still hopeful that i was going to be surprised with an unexpected interview and possible internship. But no. That was not God's plan. And although as of now i have no idea why..i am confident that my God is a God of purpose and not a God of confusion.         I am just starting to feel like I am running a marathon that will never end. Like every mile marker says "keep running" rather than actually giving me a mile marker allowing me to calculate how much longer i have until i can say, "Im done, i finished" Those words are dancing through my head but it is out of discouragement rather than because i am on to my next journey.         Its t...

Well, i have finally applied for 4 internships for the summer. But i have heard back from two, denying me entry into their program...so i wait. For the hospitals in Little Rock and in Orange, California to call me and tell me they might want me. But until then, I am studying for the PRAXIS!!  I cannot believe this is where i am in my life, i have a degree that i cant really use yet and i am not able to do what i really want to do without an internship but i dont have another option if i cant ever get an internship. SO, Here i am studying for praxis 2 "Elementary Education Content Knowledge" Im quickly being reminded through all of this that i am not in control, but my Father in Heaven is! Trusting Him is NOT easy to do, but once he puts you in a situation in which you absolutely cannot control anything it makes it a lot easier. I am done worrying about what is next i am just ready! Ready for the next chapter to begin, i am starting to feel like I am constantly reading the...